


Drive!

by parttimehuman



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas Shopping, Drunk Liam Dunbar, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Merry Christmas, Non-Binary Theo Raeken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 09:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17159378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parttimehuman/pseuds/parttimehuman
Summary: The Thiam "You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled "Drive!" AU that somehow didn't exist until now.





	Drive!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [maraudersourwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudersourwolf/gifts).



> For someone special, because you deserve the world that sadly isn't mine to give you. Words will have to do, for now.

It truly was the same procedure every year, Theo thought as they were waiting at a red light, their truck filled with groceries and Christmas presents, their nerves on edge, the same four invidious Christmas songs playing on the radio in a loop of absolute acoustic horror, impatient drivers all around them honking and hooting until a headache was threatening to end Theo’s life before too long. 

 

Last minute Christmas shopping was the stupidest thing they’d done all year for sure. 

 

Theo decided to sacrifice the pie they loved so much because the bakery was an unnecessary stop and nowhere near the other stores they still had on their list, repeating again what was still missing: a present for Tara, the dessert Theo had promised to contribute to the Raeken’s Christmas family dinner, something nice for the neighbors’ kids, and most importantly, or at least that was what their mother thought, an adequate replacement for the Christmas tree top that had fallen victim to the cat’s shenanigans a few days earlier. 

 

They could get everything with three more stops. Easy. Theo would rush in and out of the stores, efficiently as they always were, not spending anymore time in the middle of the crowded town centre than necessary. No thank you. 

 

The light switched to green and Theo let out a sigh of relief, releasing the brake pedal and shifting to first gear, only waiting for the car in front of them to finally move when all of a sudden, the door to the passenger seat was ripped open and someone hurled themselves into the truck, bringing along a scent of cold air mixed with sweat and mulled wine.

 

“Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong-” 

 

“Drive!” Theo’s sudden passenger shouted before they could finish their sentence, gesturing wildly towards the road ahead that was now clear for driving. 

 

Theo was so shocked by the intrusion and the fact that they indeed knew the person sitting next to them, or at least used to, that they couldn’t think of anything better to do than exactly what they were told and drive, hitting the gas although they spotted the men in uniforms who showed up in the rearview mirror just a second later, stopping from their run and looking around. 

 

“Liam Dunbar?” 

 

Theo kept driving, for now, but they definitely had some questions that needed to be answered, or else they wouldn’t hesitate to simply throw the guy out of their truck again. 

 

“Oh, shit,” Liam beamed, “Raeken, it’s you!” 

 

He seemed thrilled to see Theo again, even though it had been a little over two years since the two of them had attended the same high school, and it wasn’t like they’d been very close friends back then. Still, Liam looked like he wanted to throw his arms around Theo and pull them in a hug, only thinking better of it because Theo was driving. 

 

“It’s so great to see you again. What are you doing here? Visiting the family for Christmas?” Liam wanted to know, merrily babbling away. 

 

“Actually, I still live in Beacon Hills,” Theo answered truthfully before they remembered that Liam was supposed to be the one providing answers, so they forced the smile that naturally wanted to spread on their lips into a serious expression. “The real question though, I think, is what  _ you _ are doing here. And what are the cops doing that somehow looked suspiciously much like they were chasing you before you decided to hop into the next best car?” 

 

Liam rolled his eyes and tried to brush the topic off with a wave of his hand. “Don’t worry about that,” he said. Well, to be completely honest, his words had a bit of a slur. 

 

“ _ Don’t worry about that? _ ” Theo repeated Liam’s words. “Are you kidding me? You just made me an accomplice in your flight from the law! What did you do?” 

 

“Nothing,” Liam replied with a shrug of his shoulders, sitting back comfortably in the passenger seat. 

 

“Oh sure, so those deputies were chasing you because of nothing,” Theo sneered, throwing him a skeptical look that probably would have been a lot more convincing if it hadn’t made him realize how handsome Liam looked. The years after high school had worked in his favor, giving his face sharp edges and a beard that made Theo’s fingertips tingle. They’d always thought that Liam was attractive, from the first moment on mesmerized by the sparkling blue in the boy’s eyes, but  _ attractive _ alone didn’t make a person’s stomach flutter or their heart race the way Theo’s did in that moment. 

 

“Well,” Liam began explaining, “Parrish and I might have had a disagreement.” 

 

“You had a disagreement with deputy Parrish. About what?” 

 

Theo couldn’t believe how nonchalant Liam sounded. It was almost comical, the way he spoke, the last syllable of each word a little more dragged out than necessary, his eyes lidded but darting from Theo’s eyes to his hands to the streets to god knows where. 

 

“Well, at first it was about the maximum age for the children’s carousel on the Christmas market. Personally, I find it very discriminating that you’re not allowed to have fun anymore just because you’re legally an adult. I mean, that’s just rude. I also explained to him how age is just a number, and at heart, I definitely do feel like a kindergartener at times, and anyway, who does he think he is to decide that, huh? I mean, come on!” 

 

“Please don’t tell me you were trying to ride the children’s carousel,” Theo begs, remembering the one they watched their five-year-old sister Tara on for about an hour on the previous weekend. Admittedly, the mental image of Liam’s well-trained, twenty-one-year-old body being squeezed on one of the tiny horses or into a little sleigh was pretty much priceless, but that was entirely beside the point. 

 

“Not trying,” Liam replied, “I succeeded.” Theo had no explanation for how proud he looked as he said it. “Well, at least until Parrish came along and insisted on ruining all my fun, because ‘ _ four rounds is enough, young man’.  _ Such a pain in the ass, I’m telling you.” 

 

Theo couldn’t help the laugh that escaped them. “That is absolutely not what Parrish sounds like, Liam. How drunk are you?” 

 

“Me? Drunk?” Liam made a face as if Theo had just offended his entire family or something. “This is so typical. You have like, one or two cups of mulled wine, simply because it’s cold as balls outside, and it wasn’t even that good, if I’m being honest, but anyway, of course people just assume you must be drunk. Or has Parrish been in touch with you? Is this a conspiracy? Should I jump out and find another getaway car?” 

 

Theo locked the truck just to be sure that nothing would happen to Liam. “May I remind you,” they pointed out, “that you’re the one who jumped into my truck just like that? It’s not like I had some great plan to capture you. Because while I sure as hell do have some errands left to run, catching me a wild Liam in the streets actually wasn’t on the agenda. Especially not a drunk one.” 

 

“I’m not drunk.” 

 

“You smell like you showered in mulled wine this morning.” 

 

“I sure did not.” 

 

“No, but you drank it.” 

 

“You’re starting to sound like Parrish. ‘ _ Liam, you’re drunk. Liam, let me bring you home. Liam, how about we find an actual toilet for that?’  _ Blah, blah, blah.” 

 

“Do you still need to do whatever you didn’t do in a proper bathroom?” Theo asked carefully, a little scared of the answer. 

 

“No,” Liam declared, full of conviction. 

 

“If any children saw any of your private parts, I’m going to drop you off at the Sheriff's station myself, I swear it.” 

 

It was definitely not the best moment for Liam’s drunk brain to zone out and get distracted by something glittery sticking to the back of his hand. 

 

“Oh my god, Liam!” 

 

“No! No public nudity, promise!” 

 

Theo nodded, definitely not one hundred percent convinced, but at least somewhat under the impression that Liam didn’t commit any severe crime, so they felt okay about driving ahead with the boy in the passenger seat. Parrish was probably glad he didn’t have to deal with his drunk ass anymore, as Theo could only imagine. 

 

“I’d drive you home,” Theo said as they realized that the next store they’d been headed for was just around the corner, “but I’ve already spent an awful lot of this day stuck in traffic, and I have only three stops left before going home, so there’s no way I’m going to your house first and then back downtown. You can either find another ride, or wait in the car.” 

 

“Orrrrrrrrrrrrrr,” Liam purred, craning his neck and making perfect puppy eyes. Theo found themselves regretting each and every single one of the life choices that had led them to that specific moment in the car with Liam. Whatever Liam was going to say next, from now on, Theo would only drive with their truck locked from the inside so that no more people could get on board without permission ever again. 

 

“I could come with you,” Liam cheered, blue eyes glowing even more than his reddened cheeks. He looked cute, somehow. Drunk and a little disheveled and like chaos walking on two feet, but cute nonetheless. 

 

“I’ll say it once and not twice, Liam,” Theo warned. “If you get lost somewhere, I’m not going back to look for you. I’m not making a store employee call for you over the loudspeakers, and we’re not stopping at the play corner. You got it?” 

 

Liam straightened his back and raised one hand to his forehead. “Yes Sir,” he replied in a fake deep tone, then looked at Theo skeptically. “Yes Ma’am? Sir? Ma’am? Smir?” 

 

Theo sighed as they stopped the car. “Theo please,” they answered. “Simply Theo, alright?” 

 

Liam got back in serious posture for a second. “Yes Simply Theo!” 

 

Theo decided they gave up. 

 

And then they decided they gave up a second time about five minutes later, when they were wandering the aisles of a crowded store and Liam kept pointing at shiny things, pulling stuff out of the shelves because Theo had to touch them to see how soft or fluffy they were, and the babbling and rambling never stopped for a second. At some point, Theo wondered whether Liam even breathed and if so, how. 

 

In spite of all the practice Theo had from taking Tara along when shopping, Liam was a whole other level of ridiculous immaturity. Plus, most people understood the tantrums of a five-year-old. As it turned out, a fully grown man acting like a kid on speed earned a whole lot more judgmental looks. Theo moved on to pretending they didn’t know Liam, but the genius strategy was pretty much destroyed by Liam screaming their name from the top of his lungs and waving for them to look at the next best stupid thingy that Liam’s grabby hands had pulled out from somewhere. 

 

In store number one, Theo acquired the Thor action figure that Tara had wished for, the one with actual hair to brush and braid instead of just plastic, some chalk for the neighbors’ kids to draw on the street, and none of the countless little things Liam had tried to sneak into the shopping basket with a giggle. Liam called Theo a meanie, but apparently they’d still not been mean enough to be left in peace. Instead, Liam made a show out of pouting for two minutes before he was back to being loud and annoying. 

 

“I’m not saying you can’t sing Christmas songs, Liam,” Theo said on their way to store number two, “but you can’t switch songs every ten seconds, and you sure as hell can’t mix them up the way you do. You can’t just sing Jingle Bells to the melody of Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. That’s just wrong.” 

 

“You’re just the same as all the other reindeers, Theo,” Liam complained, “hating on poor Rudolph just because he’s different. He can’t help his nose, okay?” 

 

“I’m not-” 

 

Liam sniffled. 

 

“Liam?” 

 

A sob. 

 

“Are you… Liam, are you seriously crying right now?” 

 

“No,” Liam responded weakly, with tears falling from his lashes. “I’m just. Isn’t Christmas supposed to be about love?” 

 

“Yes,” Theo agreed, “and I swear to you, I love Rudolph just the way he is. The red nose makes him special, and he should be proud of that. I’d never discriminate against anyone for being different, alright? Never. We good?” 

 

The tears weren’t dry when Liam had already forgotten about it, the next mismatch of two entirely different Christmas songs echoing through the truck, but Theo knew better than to complain. 

 

The next stop was a grocery store, and Theo was in luck, so they could shop for all the ingredients they needed to make baked apples with ice cream for dessert without interruption. Foresightfully, they’d started with the apples and Liam had stayed in the fruit section to organize all the apples until they were arranged by their exact color shade, going from red to yellow to green. Only when they had everything they needed, Theo went back to pull Liam away from a slightly traumatized lady who probably hadn’t asked for a lecture on fairly traded bananas but still gotten one. 

 

“We forgot the chocolate,” Liam observed as Theo put everything on the check-out counter belt. 

 

“Chocolate wasn’t on the shopping list.” 

 

Liam rolled his eyes like it was an olympic discipline that he’d won several times before. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said, tapping away to get what he found was the standard amount of chocolate one should always buy. Of course, it ended up being almost as expensive as all the rest, and of course, Liam only shrugged his shoulders and said he had no money on him when it came to paying. 

 

At the exit, Theo had to react quickly to prevent Liam from going straight inside again for another round, but they made it to the car and back on the road without any more incidents. 

 

“You’re not coming in with me like this,” Theo told Liam as they were about to get out of the truck and into store number 3, pointing at Liam’s face. 

 

“What? Why?” Liam whined. “Don’t you think I’m cute?” 

 

“I think you’re covered in chocolate.” 

 

“Ah-hah!” Liam exclaimed triumphantly. “So I’m definitely sweet, at the very least.” 

 

“And the biggest dork who’s ever walked the earth,” Theo commented as they reached for the glove box, pulling out a pack of wet tissues that they kept in the car for when they were on tour with Tara. Even their little sister managed to clean her face on her own with them, but Liam seemed to prefer sitting still and pushing his chin forward, waiting with unexpected patience until Theo relented and wiped his face clean. “There you go, you little pig.” 

 

“A pet name,” Liam beamed back at them, “Theo Raeken, is it possible that you like me?” 

 

“I literally called you a pig. That’s not that kind of a pet name, do you realize that?” 

 

“I can’t heeeeeeeeeaaaaaar you,” Liam singsonged as he marched away from the truck and towards the entrance of the shop for Christmas decorations that was last on Theo’s list. 

 

If Theo thought the toy store as well as the grocery store had gone relatively well, they were in for a rude awakening now, because as they were about to find out the painful way, Liam liked glitter. 

 

Scratch that, Liam  _ loved _ glitter.  

 

It took exactly one second for him to drape enough lametta over his head until he looked like a human Christmas tree, porcelain tree ball ornaments hanging from his ears that Theo already saw themselves paying for later. A million different scented candles were shoved into Theo’s face to smell at them while Liam re-told the story of how he’d burned himself with a glue gun during a Christmas crafting session with his grandma when he’d been eight. 

 

“No, we don’t need an entire set of Christmas tree decoration,” Theo shook their head at Liam, watching the ridiculous pout as Liam put the box away again. 

 

“Just the tree top?” 

 

“Just the tree top.” 

 

“Like one of those glittery stars over there? I think they’re super pretty.” 

 

“Those might be a bit much,” Theo argued, because every single one was bigger than their own head, and apart from that, it wasn’t necessarily planned to spend a fortune on a simple piece of decoration that would come off again a week later, not that Liam had much understanding for their attitude. 

 

Liam fiercely endorsed every single option that had some sort of glitter on it, putting them on his lametta-head to demonstrate what they would look like on top of a tree, pouting when Theo shook their head and proceeded to scan the shelves by themselves without him. There were stars and angel figures and little Christmas trees that Theo thought were the absolute peak of ridiculousness, because seriously? A Christmas tree on top of a Christmas tree? 

 

They thought about their mother’s affinity for blue colors and focused on something silver to go along, not noticing how it went quiet as they let their fingers wander over boxes and their eyes across the store, making their way from one end of the aisle to the other. 

 

When a friendly employee came to ask Theo if they needed help, they suddenly got a bad conscience for letting Liam out of sight to do god knows what. “Have you maybe seen my… uh, friend anywhere? He’s about as tall as me, brown hair, blue eyes, probably covered in lametta? I think I haven’t seen him in like, ten minutes or something.” 

 

“Miss me?” Liam’s voice suddenly came from behind Theo’s back, sounding so smug that they could already imagine the look on his face as they turned around. 

 

The face wasn’t what Theo’s eyes were drawn to, though. 

 

Liam looked cheekily amused indeed, one eyebrow raised, daring Theo to take a look, which Theo couldn’t resist doing, simply because  _ holy freaking Christmas tree.  _

 

“Tadaaaaaaaa,” Liam exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, grinning. 

 

That little shit, Theo thought as their face turned into a bright red Christmas ball ornament, because on top of getting drunk on the Christmas market and riding the children’s carousel, fleeing from deputy Parrish and getting into a random car to yell at the person to  _ ‘Drive!’,  _ after the most annoying shopping trip of Theo’s life and chocolate faces and an unhealthy amount of glitter, of course, because he wouldn’t be Liam otherwise, the idiot had decided to top everything that had happened so far off by presenting himself to Theo butt naked, with a giant golden bow covering his crotch. 

 

“I’m taking that one,” Theo said to the employee still standing behind them, pointing at a random silver tree top with sparkling tips. There was way too much bare skin in front of their eyes that Theo didn’t know how to handle, the atrocity that was riding dangerously low on Liam’s hips drawing their eyes down to where they didn’t belong, especially not while Liam was drunk and they were in public, so Theo took flight. 

 

“You haven’t opened your present yet!” Liam yelled after them, following behind. 

 

“And I won’t,” Theo replied, their cheeks still hot and flushed. 

 

“You don’t like me,” Liam whispered, suddenly stopping in his tracks, standing in the middle of the store like a sad looking lost puppy, crossing his arms in front of his bare chest. “I’m so stupid. Of course you don’t like me. I just got into your car without asking. You didn’t want me there.” 

 

Theo didn’t know what to say, because while Liam was right about the fact that Theo hadn’t exactly invited him to tag along, all the rest of it was tragically wrong, and stupid Liam with the pretty eyes and the childish excitement had no idea. They should have said something in that moment to make Liam understand, but the way from honest thoughts to the right words was hard sometimes, and took Theo too long. 

 

All they could do was not look at Liam’s butt when he stormed off and grabbed his clothes on the way outside, eyes glued to the ground. 

 

Theo cursed themselves silently for making Liam sad, bought the damn Christmas tree top and a little something else before stepping outside, finding Liam waiting by the truck, thankfully. 

 

“Hey you silly,” Theo said, standing next to the boy. 

 

“That what I am to you?” Liam sniffled. 

 

“Only if you really believe I don’t like you.” 

 

With a smile on their lips, Theo pulled their gift for Liam out of the bag and put it on Liam’s head, lifting his chin up with one finger. “Keep your head up, little angel,” they whispered, “how else are we going to see your beautiful halo?” 

 

Liam looked up and into Theo’s eyes curiously. Theo wiped a single tear from his cheek. 

 

“Better,” Theo smiled. “Beautiful.” 

 

“Really?” Liam asked, his voice barely above a whisper. 

 

“Really,” Theo nodded, their hand somehow still caressing Liam’s face. 

 

Liam looked like a real angel as his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned in, making Theo’s heart go crazy with the anticipation of a kiss. 

 

It would have been the perfect moment, Liam and Theo on the day before Christmas, fate having brought them together, except it wasn’t. 

 

It seemed like it for a sweet minute, but that was before Liam contorted his face and leaned away, pushing Theo off of him before their lips could touch, throwing up right in the parking lot. 

 

Theo rubbed Liam’s back and offered another wet tissue, watched as the same employee from the store washed everything away with a bucket of water, told Liam that even angels got sick sometimes and it was nothing to be ashamed of, that too much mulled wine simply took its toll on everyone, but it hadn’t made them change their opinion about him. They placed a kiss on Liam’s forehead to convince him to finally get into the truck, and then they drove with the window down and in walking speed. 

 

*

 

Liam knew even before he opened his eyes that something was different, it just took him a moment to figure out what exactly it was. He’d slept well, definitely. Like a baby. He was in bed and it was warm and comfortable, all good. 

 

It smelled differently, was the first thing he noticed. And then that there was an arm slung around his waist. And then that his pillow wasn’t a pillow, but a human shoulder. 

 

“Good morning, my little angel. Hungover?” 

 

Liam did in fact feel a little dizzy, and his throat was dry, and he didn’t exactly feel all fresh and nice, but all that was on his mind was that apparently, he was just waking up in the bed of Theo Raeken, snuggled up against them, even after he’d kind of broken into their truck the previous afternoon, then invaded their Christmas shopping trip and finally vomited right in front of them just when the two of them had been about to kiss. 

 

“Oh god,” Liam groaned at the memory, burying his face in the crook of Theo’s soft neck in shame. “I can’t believe you took me home with you after everything that went down. I’m so sorry.” 

 

Theo laughed and smoothed a hand through his hair. “Nah, there’s nothing to be sorry for. And I didn’t really have any other chance than letting you sleep here. First you cried because your parents couldn’t see you like that, and after I’d brought you here to sober up for a while, you were kind of clinging to me like a monkey, insisting that you were my guardian angel and couldn’t leave me or else something bad was going to happen to me. It was really cute.” 

 

“I wasn’t actually, like, physically clinging to you, was I?” Liam asked shyly, although he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer. 

 

“Oh, absolutely,” Theo laughed. “It’s a real challenge to climb the stairs with a Liam on your leg, let me tell you.” 

 

“I’m so, so sorry,” Liam mumbled. 

 

“Don’t be,” Theo said, lifting his chin up with a soft touch of a finger, just like they’d done the day before. “I’m actually very glad that I’ve found my guardian angel. And I’ll prove it to you as soon as you’ve brushed your teeth.” 

 

“Found your guardian angel, huh?” Liam asked as he dragged himself out of bed. “More like, your guardian angel made you an accomplice in his flight from the law.” 

 

Theo didn’t argue. They only smiled contently, looking like home on Christmas morning, like the present Liam hadn’t wished for, because sometimes, life was better than what you could dream of. 

 

“Where’s your bathroom again?” He asked, smiling. “And do you have a spare toothbrush by any chance?” 


End file.
